Interesting Reads

NOTHING beats reading for revealing important truths, improving your mind and learning new things.

This page describes some books you might find helpful as you deal with various issues.  They are arranged by topic. Some have a message, some help you see things from another perspective, some help you think about something other than just your own problems, some can reveal truths if you look under the words.  Then there are books that just give you information on a bunch of topics.

If something really big is going on in your life, just reading a book about it won’t be enough.  Talk to someone who can help you apply it to YOUR life to make sure it fits.  Don’t try to do everything by your own, damn self!

Now, get to reading!

(Remember, this list is not comprehensive and the presence of books on this list does not constitute endorsement for or support of any of the information provided in these books.  And, I continually add  books as I come across them. The * marks books that I think are particularly worth reading.)

Updated: 9/9/19

Literature
Book lists created by other people
Fiction
Memoirs, biographies and autobiographies
Allegories, Fables and Fairytales
Religion and spirituality
Life of the mind (thinking, philosophy, making changes)

Information
African American Issues
Academics
ADD/ADHD
Anger & Anger Management
Antiracism and Allyship
Anxiety, Fears and Phobias
BIPOC
Bipolar Disorder
Bullying, Harassment and Hazing
College: Choosing, Applying, Alternatives
Communication
Creativity
Dating and Relationships
Depression
Depressed Parents
Divorce & Separation
Driving
Entrepreneurialism
Failure
Friendships, Peers, Popularity and Cliques
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning
Giftedness
Girl Issues
Grief, Loss and Death
Guy Issues
Health and Fitness
Internet
Jobs, Employment & Careers
Legal Rights
Making a Difference
Media (TV, Advertisers, Music, etc.)
Morals and Manners
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Parents, Dealing with Them
Physical Challenges and Chronic Illness (General)
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Schizophrenia
Sexual Abuse, Molestation & Date Rape
Sex and Sexuality
Siblings
Social Skills and Graces
Step-families
Stress and Stress Management
Substance Use and Abuse
Suicide
Tourette Syndrome
Video Games

Book lists created by other people

100 Must Read Books for Boys. I wouldn’t include all these but they all have something important to say.  (You can go to this link to read a brief summary of each book.  Girls will also find these books worth a look but, as you might imagine on a list for “boys,” there may be too much of a traditional sexist slant to at least some of the books and ideas.)

50 Best Ficture Adventure Books.  There are some great titles on this (and some I have never heard of).  It was composed on a site called the Art of Manliness so you can guess at the general tone of the books.  But, just because it was composed as a list for guys to read doesn’t mean these aren’t titles for girls (nor that the things to take from it as models of ways to approach life as a woman).

Goodreads’ Girl Book Lists.  So how about these titles for girls to consider?  And this list from PBS.

Fiction

A Question of Manhood by Robin Reardon
Sixteen year old Paul’s brother is killed in the Vietnam War.  While his brother was on leave, he tells Paul that he is gay.  This book is about Paul dealing with his grief, his prejudice against homosexuals and his struggles to be a real man.  He has to work during the summer at his dad’s pet shop with JJ, a gay teenager who is an expert in dog training.  He has to reconcile his prejudices with his admiration and affection for JJ.  I have mixed feelings about this book.  The parts that deal with Paul’s struggles to see homosexuals as good people and trying to understand his brother is powerful.  The story seemed to drag out though and there were a couple of components that were either completely gratuitous (Paul and his friend pay to have sex with a prostituted woman) and Paul’s friends are viciously, dangerously cruel (tying a kid to a tree and threatening him with a knife, their treatment of JJ).  However, there aren’t many young adult books that examine how a heterosexual teenage boy has to think through what it means to be gay and the darker side of the struggle with cultural definitions of manhood and masculinity.

*After I Fall by Lauren Oliver
Samantha is a high school, pretty (though not beautiful), and at the top of her schools social scene.  This is the story of how she died in a car accident her senior year; and woke to relive the same day 7 times.  She had plenty of chances to try to make things right and  . . .  Excellent book though I got a bit discouraged by the how long it took to get to the point of her first death.  The book then took off.  Wonderful commentary on teens and the issues they face.  Wonderful example of how to be a more authentic and genuine person.  Great characterization of a quietly principled, sensitive and desirable teenage guy (they don’t all have to be the star athlete).  This is a book for reevaluating your life and the kind of person you want to be (with some ideas about how to do that in small ways).  Nothing gory, no graphic sex though lots of references to drinking and drug use in the context of partying.  At the center of the story is Samantha’s dilemma about how to resolve the question of whether (and under what conditions) she will have sex.

*The Beginning of Everything by Robyn Schneider
Ezra had to completely reinvent himself from being a popular athletic kid after the accident that shattered his leg and revealed how little he could depend on his so called friends.  He found his way to a group of kids who helped him realize there was more he wanted out of life than partying and popularity, falling in love along the way (of course).  But, everything doesn’t turn out all happy every after (and no one dies tragically either!).  Really witty dialogue and a cool characterization of the benefits and pitfalls of shifting social groups in school. 

Black-eyed Susan by Jennifer Armstrong
Ten year old Susie rejoices in their new home on the prairie while struggling to understand her mother’s sadness about the move reflected in the absence of simple pleasures “How come ma won’t bake pies anymore?”.  This is a sweet, brief story about a child’s view of her mother’s depression.

*Breaking Rank by Kristen D. Randle
I thought this was a great book.  In an interesting twist on the following the crowd story, ­­­Baby is the younger brother of the leader of a gang who rejects conventional success.  This group of kids intentionally fails high school classes while secretly self educating themselves in philosophy, science, math, history, vehicle repair.  The problem is, Baby wants to go to college so he will have to betray his brother and his gang.  Nicely done and not overly tidy in bringing everything together at the end.

*Breathing Underwater by Alex Flinn
Sixteen year old Nick has been court ordered to a group for guys who have anger problems, for him it is for beating on his girlfriend.  He attends the group, keeps a diary of his thoughts and struggles to see his own role in blaming, controlling and lashing out.  No happy ending, only really the beginning of understanding and change, powerful presentation of how an abuser thinks, self-justifies and has trouble really changing (read that as trouble accepting responsibility for his actions).  A good read

Brian’s Winter (the sequel to Hatchet) by Gary Paulson.
What would happen if Brian had to survive the winter instead of being rescued at the end of the summer as described in Hatchet?  Paulson does it again.

*Brotherband Chronicles: The Outcasts by John Flanagan
A group of misfit Viking (-like) kids have to band together to get through the rites of passage to manhood to become full fledged members of their clan.  This is a great boys story but what I REALLY like about it is how well (and with examples) it portrays what it takes to be a real leader as one of the group assumes that roll in the group.  There are more books in the series as they come together and have adventures. And, a strong teen female character shows up in book 2, slightly redeeming the boys club nature of the books. Great fun.

Cezanne Pinto by Mary Stolz
In this historical fiction, 12 year old Cezanne escapes slavery and travels through history of the US during and after the civil war.  He fights in the war, spends time out west as a cowboy and through self education becomes a teacher.  Subtle things like the changes in his language as he becomes more educated as well as the direct and indirect integration of historical figures into the story as well as the dignity of the main character make this a great read.

Chinese Handcuffs by Chris Crutcher, 1989
Chris, Chris, Chris.  Dillon is a feisty but sensitive, depressed yet determined 17 year old boy whose mom and younger sister up and just left the family right around the time that his older brother, paralyzed from a motorcycle accident, kills himself in front of the boy (while indirectly blaming him for having everything come easy to him) is hounded by the assistant principal while pursuing a beautiful but curiously aloof girl who turns out to have been molested by a series of father figures.  (Spoiler alert) He takes up triathalons and just manages to save the girl from her wealthy, influential, and  cruelly sexually abusive current step dad by secretly (that is, without the knowledge of either the perpetrator OR the victim)  video taping an incident of sexual abuse which he uses to blackmail the guy into disappearing from the girls life.  Did I also mention that he strikes up a slightly erotically tinged relationship with a single, middle aged female volleyball coach who is mentor and confessor to him?  I’m not sure what else to say.  Crutcher took this WAY OVER THE TOP with not enough “lessons learned.”  This was written before reality TV took just this kind of turn.

*The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
How do you resist peer pressure?  How do you follow your convictions when the cost is ostracism?  What happens when a run-of-the-mill kid defies the social structure and a corrupt school administration in a quiet, principled way?  This is a powerful book that captures the reality of hard choices about standing on principle versus being accepted and out of the spotlight; all over selling chocolate bars.  Powerful read.

Dancing on the Edge by Han Nolan
Miracle’s mother died giving birth to her, her father mysteriously vanished in a blaze of fire and she moved from one relative to another. This is the story of how she learned to stop running and let people care about her. Unfortunately, she had to catch on fire first before she could see the truth about love.

Deadline by Chris Crutcher, 2007
OK, this 18 year old boy finds out the summer before his senior year that he has a terminal disease (vague blood disease) that will give him about a year to live.  Guess what?  He decides to take the chances he otherwise never would have taken:  going out for football (where his much more talented brother is a star), going after the beautiful but distant girl (who turns out to have a toddler from a rape at 13 no one knows about), befriend the town drunk (who turns out to be an ex-priest who molested a kid in his past), try to address the racism in his small, exclusively white community by harassing his bigoted, arrogant, and ignorant teacher.  All with an imaginary mentor (dream like visitor who hints at being a manifestation of God helping him along through his struggles) and without telling anyone he is dying.  Yeah, a bit much but, as usual, Crutcher pulls it off (though the pedophilic ex-priest was too much for me).  The parents are dysfunctional (dad is harassed, loving but relatively uninvolved in part because mom has bipolar disorder and is either raging (down played in the book) or, mostly, hiding out in her bedroom under the covers.  He pulls off a star turn on the football field through grit and determination.  He has sex with the girl (not graphic and tastefully and responsibly handled, I thought). He gives the teacher hell and then gets to play the “I’m dying” card as a coup de gras. The ex-priest kills himself (a rather neat and tidy resolution) but not before finding a kind of peace (not at the cost of justifying the abuse, of course).   The kid does die in the end.  Highly emotionally charged book (obviously) that carries the message of making your time here count and taking chances, worthwhile chances!  Some cussing, but not a prominent feature of the book.

*The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau Banks by E. Lockhart, 2008
Absolutely great book about a strong willed, 15 yo girl who gets the hot guy but struggles with being pigeonholed as a typical girl rather than the smart, competitive, opinionated young woman she is.  The ending is realistic (things don’t all get neatly tied into a bow with her getting the guy). Wonderfully written, great sense of kid talk, great modeling for negotiating that difficult competing demands on girls.

Dreamland by Sarah Dressen
Strange, sleepy Rogerson, with his long brown dreads and brilliant green eyes, had seemed to Caitlin to be an open door. With him she could be anybody, not just the second-rate shadow of her older sister, Cass. But now she is drowning in the vacuum Cass left behind when she turned her back on her family’s expectations by running off with a boyfriend. Caitlin wanders in a dream land of drugs and a nightmare of Rogerson’s sudden fists, lost in her search for herself.

*Easy by Kerry Cohen Hoffmann, 2007
14 year old Jessica has gotten lost between childhood and adolescence, divorced father with new girlfriend (who broke up the family) and bitter, grieving mother, desire to be popular and, mostly, desire to be desired.  Thoughtfully and realistically handled presentation of the feelings and the costs (including to your soul) of sex before you are ready.  VERY GRAPHIC young adult novel (2 instances of oral sex, first time sex with a 20 year old) that is powerful in its depiction of the lure of attention through sex many teen girls increasingly face.  Broken and strained friendships, reputation, pregnancy scare, boys only looking for a hook up, sex before you’re ready, finding yourself and setting boundaries; not gratuitous and with a truthfulness that can help a young girl really consider the implications of her needs and her actions before she gets in too deep.  Seriously consider reading this together with your daughter if she is getting boy crazy (e.g., sneaking around, having sexually suggestive communications with boys, etc.).  Not for more innocent or naïve readers.  (The author also has a memoir of her own adolescence that parallels this search to find yourself through the attention of guys and men.)

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
Hazel Grace Lancaster is 16 year old girl recovering from lung cancer.  Augustus Waters is a 17 year old basketball star who lost his leg to cancer.  They meet at a support group.  They fall in love.  They are smart, feisty and independent.  Hazel Grace tries to stay emotionally distant to keep from hurting others if she dies (and to keep from getting hurt if they die).  Augustus is a romantic, loving guy who is willing to risk the pain.  It’s a nice portrayal of a teen relationship (apart from the serious medical conditions).  But how else are they going to get you to have a strong emotional reaction to the story?  Read this book.  You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, it will become a part of you.

Finnikin of the Rock by Melina Marchetta
19 year old Finnikin lost everything 10 years ago when a curse was placed on Lumatere, the land of his birth.  He was son of the revered captain of the king’s guard and friend to the heirs to the throne.  When the usurper rode in and killed the royal family and began their reign of terror the matriarch of the forest clan placed a curse on the kingdom as she was burned at the stake.  From that time, a roiling black force sealed the kingdom with no contact between those inside and those outside.  The dispossessed were doomed to wander as refugees, dying from plague and hunger.  Finnikin and his mentor have wandered the surrounding kingdoms trying to find a place for their people to be able to live and to try to break the curse.  Then, a young woman appears who has visions of how to break the curse and reunite the kingdom.  Is she for real?  Does she have some other motive?  This is a powerful, medieval story of loss, suffering, love, hope, trust and sacrifice.  What can you do to find happiness when faced with overwhelming loss and despair?  What can one person do to help when there is such suffering.  If you have a cloud over you in your life, if you wonder how one can find joy in a world full of suffering, this is a beautiful answer.  This is a book that has both the tender and loving as well as the noble and aggressive answers woven into a touching and gritty story. Great strong but emotionally sensitive guy and sensitive and formidable girl characters.

Flight by Sherman Alexie, 2007
This book provides the ultimate example of “walk a mile in my shoes.”  Zits is a bright, half-breed orphan who has lived in 20 foster homes by the time he’s 15yo.  Despite being depressed, angry, and confused about any possibility for a future (or whether there even IS a future) he still has a spark of hope and his sense of humor.  As he contemplates committing an act of random violence out of despair, he finds himself jumping across time, inhabiting the bodies of both victims and perpetrators of heinous acts in historical situations.  The author has the voice of a rebellious, hard edged but sensitive teen dead on.  The sequence of vignettes are poignant and riveting. The possibility of redemption is believable.  The language is extremely raw (read that profane and coarse).  There are some realistic, and therefore graphic, expressions of teen sexual thoughts.  Great book for a kid who has been through a lot and can’t see outside of his own world view.

The Folk Keeper by Franny Billingsley
Here is fantasy story about a girl who has talent in a field dominated by men but that doesn’t involve sports, fighting, or ruling over others.  ­­­Corrina has the talent for containing the evil, demon-like Folk which threaten to infest the castle of a local lord.  She is a strong willed, determined girl who doesn’t just accept her situation.  Eerie and mysterious (and with a little horror thrown in).  Very good read.

The Ghost of Spirit Bear by Ben Mikaelsen
The followup to Touching Spirit Bear that follows Cole after he returns from his rehab in the wilderness.  It captures the complications of reintegrating into normal society especially when everyone knows something of his past.  How do you apply what you learned when others keep pushing your buttons.  Another great book.

*The Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson
A plus-size girl as hero?  Oh yes!  She is the chosen one (by their god), the younger of 2 princesses who has never done anything special.  When she arrives in the kingdom of her new husband, she is kidnapped and thrown into the political and military turmoil that is consuming the kingdom.  There are prophecies, magic and a somewhat insecure girl who develops into a strong and determined leader. And there are like 6 books in this series, some following different characters. This is good reading about a girl who isn’t your stereotypical skinny princess.

*The Giver by Lois Lowry
In a society that is like but unlike a early, 20^th century farming community, people don’t have emotional ups and downs.  Society is organized (read that as loosely communistic) with your career determined by a (relatively accurate) assessment of your talents and interests.  Everyone has their place and life is predictable and good.  Unfortunately, for one member of the society, the price of this idyllic society is one person has to carry all the grief and sorrow.  As the current Giver reaches the end of his life, a replacement must be found.  Twelve year old Jonas has the talent.  Unfortunately, he begins to question the cost of a society without regret and sorrow (and the absence of making moral choices that result). It’s all too neat and tidy.   Needless to say, he screws the whole thing up (is that just like a teenager, or what).  The magical, allegorical tone of the story pulls you in.  This is a great book for a thinking kid.

*Hatchet by Gary Paulsen, 1987
This fiction book is a GREAT read.  The main character is a 13 year old boy whose plane crashes in the Canadian wilderness forcing him to survive across a summer.  It has great lessons about survival, keeping your head in difficult circumstances, and the beauty and dangerousness of nature.  He is traveling to visit his father after his parents have divorced so issues of divorce also surface.  (A sequel was written-Brian’s Winter-as if the main character was not rescued at summer’s end.  In my family, we couldn’t put it down and had to read this too.  Same issues though best following Hatchet.)

Hugging the Rock by Susan Taylor Brown, 2008
Presented in brief, free-verse poems, poignant character study of a dysfunctional family. Rachel watches her mother get ready to run away from home.  When Mom is gone, neither Rachel nor her father can cope. Rachel shuts down. Dad does not initially provide much comfort. Father and daughter gradually grow closer.

*The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
OMG.  Death, murder, violence, love, romance, a girl who will KICK YOUR ASS and yet is vulnerable, hot guys, sensitive guys, evil adults, rebellion.  This series has EVERYTHING but mostly a girl who holds her own and is willing to kill people who try to kill her, no hiding behind some big, strong boy for her!  One of the best book(s) ever.

*I Am The Messenger by Markus Zusak
OK, this book really got under my skin, in a good way.  I found myself wanting to recommend it to every teen I know.  Ed is 19 years old, barely graduated from high school, drives a cab and is going nowhere in every area of his life until he stops a bank robbery.  He gets a mysterious playing card in his mailbox with addresses on it.  When he checks them out he realizes that someone has giving him the task of changing the lives of the people at these addresses.  And, it’s not all “paying their electric bills” but a woman who is being beat up by her husband, a desperately poor family and a barefoot, distance running teenage girl.  What’s a know nothing, skinny loser going to do to help any of these people?  And what do they even need?  Thought provoking and a great model for thinking about the importance of how each of us can make a difference in the world. 

*If Rock and Roll Were A Machine by Terry Davis, 1992
Sixteen year old Bert still hasn’t recovered from the incident in 5^th grade when a sadistic teacher decided to put him in his place.  Prior to that he was an athletic, confident kid; afterwards, a basket case.  Another set of loving but ineffectual parents (do they always have to be like this?); at 16, he pretty much is allowed to just be out on his own.  Well, with the owner of a motorcycle shop ( biker with a heart of gold), Bert learns to love motorcycles (this book is a peon to being on the road with bugs in your teeth, a kind of teenage The Zen of Motorcycle Maintenance), finds something he is good at (racketball, of all things), and gets the chance to indirectly confront his old teacher.  Happily, the resolution of the confrontation wasn’t a neat, tidy package where all was resolved.  Also, he learns that he can write, deals with jealousy of a peer who can do everything that is cool, and finds his own voice by the end.  This book captures a lot of the internal dialog of teenage boys (including the prominence of sexual preoccupations). There isn’t any sex but a lot of very intense descriptions of sexual thoughts.  Teenage boys will immediately relate.  This is a story about a kid with character and real struggles to find his own path to manhood and maturity.  As his biker mentor said “You have to find a way to earn your own respect;” and by that he meant, dedicate yourself to accomplishing something meaningful.  Excellent, earthy story about the path to manhood.

*Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O’Dell
A teenage native girl is accidentally left on an island when her tribe, the only inhabitants of the island, board a ship to travel across the seas to a better place.  This is a great story of an independent girl who must fend for herself against a pack of wild dogs, gather her own food and find a way to survive by taking on “men’s work.”  Guess what?  She kicks that island’s ass. 

Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta
Taylor is a 17 year old orphan at a boarding school where every summer the boarding school kids, the cadets from the military academy and the townies go to war.  She never knew her father, her mother abandoned her at 11 years old, her mentor disappears without a word one day and a terrible mystery about something bad that happened years ago is about to be revealed.  Awesome, angry, independent teenage girl who is a survivor, tragedy, loss and death and love and loyalty across two different generations that converge on Jellicoe Road.  Great model for a strong young woman and a tough but sensitive young man.

Joey Pigza Swallowed a Key by Jack Gantos
Joey has ADHD.  This is an entertaining book about a kid with severe ADHD and hi misadventures.  Realistic and enjoyable.  One in a series of books on Joey. Validating for kids with ADHD

*Jumping the Nail by Eve Bunting
Popularity, following the crowd, changing friendships, dangerous risk taking, devil-may-care behavior masking suicidal behavior, and standing up for yourself in a tightly written, easy reading story of kids who dare each other to jump the Nail, a local seaside cliff.

Just Listen by Sarah Dressen
A teenage girl faces the turmoil and pain that comes from broken friendships, family secrets hidden behind a façade of determinedly cheerful talking.  Annabel’s family goes to amazing lengths to avoid confrontation and the revelation of the secrets behind her sadness. Caught between wanting to protect her family and her own struggles to face a devastating experience, Annabel finds comfort in an unlikely friendship with the school’s most notorious loner. Owen has his own issues with anger, but has learned to control it and helps her realize the dangers of holding in her emotions. Dressen explores the interior and exterior lives of her characters and shows their flaws, humanity, struggles, and incremental successes. Eating disorders, families in pain, Secrets, Avoiding painful issues, the value of opening up to others

Keeping the Moon by Sarah Dressen
Colie’s fitness-celebrity mom (a female version of Richard Simmons) long ago motivated her to lose 45.5 pounds, but Colie feels just as insecure as she did when she was overweight, and she is a pariah at school. During Colie’s 15th summer, her mother goes on an extended tour of Europe, and Colie is sent to outlandish Aunt Mira in Colby, N.C.  Readers will lap up the snappy dialogue, colorful episodes and unexpected pearls of wisdom. The lessons Colie learns about beauty, none of them new, come across with freshness and vitality. Ages 12-up

The Lightening Thief by Rick Riordan
This is the first of the Olympian series based on the premise that the gods of ancient Greece are alive and kicking in modern America.  Percy, the ubiquitous young teen, has been diagnosed with ADD and he is constantly in trouble.  What no one told him is he is the half son of the god Poseidon and that enemies of his father are out to get him.  After he discovers his heritage, he is thrown into an adventure to recover the stolen lightning rod of Zeus along with some other demi-god children he meets at demi god camp.  It is a GREAT story and wonderful fun.  An enjoyable way to put another twist on the origins of ADD, just for kicks.

Looking for Alaska by John Green, 2005
Pudge Halter has been an invisible no body at his public school when he starts his junior year as a scholarship student at a boarding school as he searches for “the great perhaps.”  He takes up with a group of misfits (mostly due to scholarship status vs the rich full tuition kids) including a siren of a girl named Alaska.  Pudge (so called because he is so skinny) smokes cigarettes, drinks, joins in pranks on the rich kids and the school administration and Alaska ends up dying in an automobile accident.  Lots of low level antisocial behavior (rabble rousing) you might expect in a boarding school environment (at least when writers describe it).  Good descriptions of the guilt and grieving process very smart, verbal kids undergo after the death of a friend with real philosophy mixed in.  More intellectual than might really be the case but it can be used to help kids learn to put some words to the process.  Enjoyable coming of age (is there any other kind of teen book?) read.

Looking for Alibrandi by Melina Marchetta
Jozzie was born when her mother was in high school.  Her biological father’s family shipped him off never to be heard from again.  Her senior year will be filled with love (with both the perfect guy and the sensitive bad boy), discovery of her grandmother’s secret love and the unexpected return of her father.  This is a wonderful story of a strong willed teenage  girl who begins the transition to adulthood with humor, spirit and the refreshing absence of a neat, tidy “and they lived happily every after” ending. 

Lord of the Flies by William Golding
OK, this book freaks me out.  It is like one of those horror movies before there were horror movies.  Most people are familiar with the story of a group of prep school boys whose plane goes down on a deserted island which then devolves into a cautionary tale about how thin is the veil of civilization and reason.  This is like a novel length, explication of the statement “children can be cruel sometimes;”  (how about ruthless, murderous, and primitive).  Great catalyst for conversations about standing up for yourself, resisting peer influence, the value of police, and the need to kill off the person most likely to threaten your leadership position right from the beginning to strike fear into the hearts of your constituents rather than wasting time trying to be all democratic and reasonable about the whole survival thing.

Monster by Walter Dean Myers
Steve Harmon is in prison at 16 after being accused of being the lookout in a convenience store murder.  Creatively written (including some text in handwritten form, other aspects in the form of a screen play the main character uses to review his life and the circumstances leading to the robbery) and complex (Harmon is both sympathetic and cold blooded).  He finds some kind of redemption in the end.  Prison is not glorified.  Character, morals and responsibility are reviewed.  Riveting and thought provoking book.

*My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George
Doesn’t’ every adolescent want to run away and live on their own?  Well, this is one of the earliest, modern versions of a teenage Walden’s Pond.  This is a simple, innocent, and sweet (and naïve) woodland coming of age story.  Your hiking, backpacking kid early teen will resonate to this book.

Out of the Dust by Hesse, Karen, 1997
This fiction book is written in diary form from the perspective of a 14 year old girl who has to deal with accidentally burning her mother to death.  It is about grief and loss, family relationships (strained relationship with her emotionally-constricted father), making your way back from serious physical injury (she was a talented pianist whose hands were badly burned), dignity and pride, and poverty (she lives in the poverty-stricken dust bowl area during the 20’s).  I have never read more powerful metaphors for grief and sadness than through the descriptions of the ways in which dust gets into everything and destroys crops.  Through the end, there is always a strong, believable sense of hope and possibilities through hard work and persevering.  2000
Grief and Loss; Fathers and Daughters; Mothers and Daughters; Loss of Parent (Mother)-Daughter’s Perspective; Poverty; Perseverance;  Depression

*Outcasts (The Brotherband Chronicles including The Invaders, The Hunters, Slaves of Socorro & Scorpion Mountain) by John Flanagan
This is a wonderful read and it stays wonderful through the whole series.  A group of ragtag, outcast teenagers compete for the honor of winning the brotherband competition in this Viking-like society.  Every guy has his own strengths and his own limitations.  You get to see how they come together as a team to have a chance at the ultimate prize.  The subsequent stories continue their adventures in having to work together and use their wits and skills to overcome enemies and challenges.  Great fun to read. If you like this you will also like the Ranger’s Apprentice series that Flanagan also wrote reviewed below.)

The Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, 1999
Now this is an interesting, complicated fiction book that captures the experience of marginalized teenagers (e.g., “freaks”, outcasts, shy/withdrawn/fragile kids, emotionally damaged kids, gay, etc.).  The main character is a 14-15 year old boy who comes to confront his sexual molestation at the hands of a favorite aunt.  It is written in the form of letters to a anonymous friend.  The cast of characters includes some senior high school kids who befriend the main character, an excellent high school English teacher who recognizes the main character’s intellectual giftedness, and emotionally disconnected parents who are confused by their son’s odd behavior.  Topics that are addressed include alcohol and drug use (presented realistically and thus not helpfully for abstinence), male homosexual relationships (between two main male characters who are not stereotypically effeminate), genuine friendships, the effects of sexual abuse by adults females on young males, death of a peer (the story begins with the death by suicide of a close friend of the main character), rejection and ostracizing of kids in high school, the complications of relationships, positive yet respectful mentoring by a teacher, the role of psychotherapy in resolving problems, and moving past difficult events from the past.  This book will likely be very difficult for parents to read.  However, it REALLY captures the experience of being emotionally damaged and a young teenager and an outcast at school.  It also reveals the devastation wrought by incest and secrets and the healing of directly facing difficulties and painful experiences.  It ends with treatment for the incest and a hopeful view of moving on from there.  This book developed an almost cult like following among teens.  2000
Severe Mental Illness (in adolescents); grief and loss; suicide; homosexuality; alcohol and drug use; psychotherapy-children; psychiatric hospitalization; incest (female extended family member perpetrator/pre-adolescent male target); friendships

Ranger’s Apprentice (starting with the Ruins of Gorlan and going on for 12 different volumes) by John Flanagan
In the Medieval-like Kingdom of Araluen, 15 year old Will dreams of becoming a Ranger, the elite group of men who enforce the Kings justice (and are master spies, horsemen, swordsmen and archers).  When he finally gets his chance (after it looking like he was not going to make it), he starts out on the path that leads to his becoming the most renowned Ranger in the history of the corps (by the end of the series).  Friendship, strong female characters, lots of camaraderie, evil semi-demonic creatures; this book and this series has everything and is really fun to read.  Great characters with morals, personal growth and cool adventures.  When you read the first one you will want to finish them all.

*Rats Saw God by Rob Thomas
Steve York is the troubled son of an astronaut who may not graduate due to failing English.  His assignment, write a 100 word essay.  It becomes a diary and memoir of his high school years.  Parental divorce, loss of direction, young love and heartbreak leading to drug use and mild but life disrupting trouble.  Sex and blunt talk.  Excellent book about a badass guy with feelings and sensitivity while still being tough.

Sad Days, Glad Days:  A Story about Depression by DeWitt Hamilton
A story book about a young girls struggles with her mother’s mood swings and erratic behavior.  This book about children coping with a parent’s depression is centered on a girl taking care of a stray cat which helps her mother recognize her child’s needs during this time.  Ages 6-9

Say Goodnight, Gracie by Julie Reece Deaver, 1988
Morgan (girl) and Jimmy have been friends since birth.  Morgan is an aspiring actress and Jimmy is an aspiring dancer.  The summer before their senior year, Jimmy is killed by a drunk driver and Morgan has to make her way through the grief.  It is a long build up to the death and then Morgan’s grieving process.  The language is just a little dated.  Jimmy seems to be heterosexual but would be a little too feminine for teenage guys.  Ok book, not great but might fit for a kid in a closely parallel situation.

Saying It Out Loud by Joan Abelove
Mindy’s mother died during her senior year after struggling with brain tumor for years.  Her father is just barely coping.  Quiet, mundane and oppressive, Mindy has to make her way through the process of loss and rediscovering hope on the other side. 

Shards of Honor by Lois McMaster Bujold
Cordelia is the captain of an astronomical survey ship exploring a new planet when they are attacked by unknown assailants.  She escapes with the help of her crew, but not before falling in love with Vorkosigan, the captain of the enemy’s ship.  Thus begins a series of dramatic encounters as the two planets are in conflict and the two main characters gradually make their way to each other.  This book (and the Vorkosigan series it initiates) is remarkable for the competence, independence and likeability of Cordelia (and Captain Vorkosigan).  The sequel, Barrayar, tells of their early years of marriage where, again, Cordelia doesn’t take shit from people on the rather traditional, aristocratic planet she finds herself on while married to Vorkosigan.  Great female character who has to deal with institutional paternalism.  This book and the series are known as space operas, stories where the science fiction is really just a setting to tell a story with great characters.  See Vorkosigan Series to find out about how the rest of the series is about a physically handicapped boy (Cordielia and Vorkosigan’s son) has high adventures despite his limitations.  Great fun and inspiring. 

*Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants by Ann Brashares
Excellent, complex friendships between girls that include jealousies, bad decisions (and learning from them) and support.  Great books. 

Skellig by Almond, David, 1998
This fiction book is a haunting, somewhat mystical story of a pre-adolescent boy whose new-born sister hovers between life and death causing emotional strain within the family.  He struggles with depression and moving to a new home and school with subsequent loss of friends.  It is kind of creepy in a way that kids will probably like.   The title character has obvious parallels to angels.  Themes of friendships, stress, love, and compassion run throughout.   A good view of how children can be overlooked in the middle of a serious family crisis.  One thing I didn’t like was the idea that this young boy and his female friend spend time with a weird adult without telling anyone about it.  Worthy of some discussion while reading it with children.  “What would you do?”  “What would I do to help if you told me you found someone like that?”

*Soulfire by Lori Hewett
Todd is coming of age story of an African American 16 yo faced with a brother’s gang involvement, working mother, absent father, rage, a friend who is going to take on the gangs, and jealousy over a girl.  The ending isn’t neat and tidy.  Captures the weight of the many things making life hard for this kid (and his neighbors and family)

*Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
Melinda calls the police who bust a back to school high school party.  She is an outcast and increasingly has trouble being able to actually talk.  Depression deepens, isolation continues.  It turns out (spoiler alert) that she was raped by a senior at the party, hence the phone call.  Her ex best friend begins to date the rapist, Melinda tells her, accusations and finally belief.  Rapist traps Melinda in a school closet and again tries to assault her.  She finds her voice, is rescued by students who hear her screams, she becomes a kind of hero.  Well written if a bit contrived.  Useful vehicle to talk about teen girl vulnerability (especially under the influence), getting help and finding your voice to set boundaries.

Staying Fat for Sarah Byrns by Chris Crutcher
Eric and Sarah have been friends forever, he’s fat, she’s physically scarred.  He decides to try to lose weight by joining the swim team, their relationship is strained.  She becomes mute one day, is taken to a psych hospital and in the course of Eric trying to be supportive a whole mess of pathology pours out all around him.  Let’s see, it’s a Crutcher book so there is a mom who abandons her daughter to her cruelly abusive father (resulting in a horrible scarring burn), said cruelly abusive father, bullying and peer abuse of a fat kid, parents who are clueless about the horrors that are going on around them, a teen pregnancy where the conservatively religious, hypocritical teen father drives the teen mother to get an abortion and then attempts suicide because of regret, the cruelly abusive father tries to kill Eric when he, with the help of a concerned teacher, helps Sarah run away to find her mother.  Sarah is adopted by her kind teacher.

*Story of a Girl by Sara Zarr
Sixteen year old Deanna is still dealing with the effects of being caught when she was 13 years old with her brother’s 17 year old friend.  Her reputation has defined her, and almost crushed her, at school.  Her brother is dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.  Her father still can’t look at her and her mother tries to pretend that everything is fine.  She is finally figuring out how to put it behind her and find her own voice.  This is a phenomenal book about what happens on the other side of sexual decision making.  The one thing it leaves out is how to deal with the desire and power of being wanted (and loved) by a boy so you don’t end up in such a bad place. 

Stotan by Chris Crutcher, 1986
Walker and his teammates on the high school swim team are approaching the last season as the school is cutting funding for the swim team. Their Korean-Amreican, martial arts swim coach has designed a week of killer training that would test navy seals.   Walker is a relatively well adjusted kid while his team mates are a collection of kids with problems:  physical abuse, semi abandonment, racism, and the need for these kids to deal with it themselves.  Crutcher’s stories have the usual formula.  The writing is both compelling and a bit dated (by now, 2010).  It is a good read about self-discipline, difficult family situations and the bind of helping without making things worse, and kids left to figure things out on their own.

Summerland by Michael Chabon.
This is a kid’s fantasy book that uses baseball as a metaphor for life, creates a whole host of unique imaginary creatures, has a whole host of mythical creatures, includes time travel, a metaphor for the most current views of the nature of multidimensional reality, sasquatch, werewolves, giants, a 13 year old boy who lost his mother to cancer with an emotionally distant, awkward but nonetheless loving father, his friend who is a mixed race native American Indian girl with an alcoholic, absentee father, a metaphysical representations of God, the devil, heaven and hell.  Oh, by the way, the boy sets out on a quest to save his father who naively helps the devil figure try to destroy the very fabric of existence.  All to the cadence of a 9 inning baseball game.  It is fascinating, well written, believable (I know, I know. Take a kind of dream like view of it all), and has some beautiful passages that reflect loss and love and temptation and sacrifice and hope and dealing with difficulty.

The Summer Prince by Alaya Dawn Johnson
OK, this was a really interesting and riveting book BUT not like other young adult books I’ve read. There are a couple of elements that set this story apart from your run of the mill young adult book.  It has main characters that are gay, bi- and hetero, there is actually references to (though nothing graphic) about gay sex and no one is particularly freaked out by it (just a little uncomfortable at times).  There is the recognition that girls (17 year olds) actually have sexual feelings.  Society allows euthanasia (committing suicide) in older people.  And, none of these are even the main point of the story.  So here’s the story, in a time after a nuclear holocaust, the people of Rio de Janeiro have built a giant self contained city where 17yo June is struggling to find her direction in life while still grieving the death of her father several years previous.   Lots of cool technology mixed with a rather primitive government system where the King is sacrificed (ritually murdered) every year.  June and her best friend Gil meet the doomed prince Enki (who is of African descent in a society where everyone else is pale skinned) who falls in love with Gil.  Together they try to save Prince Enki from his fate.  June is a wonderful female character who is conflicted, strong, independent and rebellious against the demands that she fit the mold of becoming a high achieving just for the sake of being high achieving (like her parents). 

*Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher, 2007
Hannah kills herself near the end of her Junior year in high school.  She leave 13 tapes that explain the events that led to her decision, 13 people who made things bad or worse.  This is a great book that is difficult to read.  It will leave you sad, embarrassed (hopefully) for the little things we do that can make things hard on other people and hopeful about how you can do things differently.  Lots of issues related to girl’s experiences in high school, guys should find it equally compelling.  This time the main character hasn’t been terrible abused or dramatically mistreated; it’s the little mean-nesses, the petty jealousies, the times we turn away rather than turn toward.  References to drinking and drug use in the context of partying.  Great teenage male role models.  Great skewering of insensitive superficial teenage guys.  Beautiful little book.

*Touching Spirit Bear by Ben Mikaelsen
This is a GREAT book.  Cole is a troubled 13 year old kid whose anger is spinning out of control.  When he almost kills a peer, a creative juvenile court judge sentences him to a year of isolation on an island to be supervised by a Native American medicine man.  What it takes for this kid to recognize and get a grip on his anger rings true.  Sequel:  The Ghost of Spirit Bear.

*Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson (1883; that’s right, 1883!)
This book is AWESOME!  It is unbelievable that it was written in 1883 and you won’t be able to put it down.  A young boy is taken on as a cabin boy aboard a ship filled with mutinous pirates led by the greatest pirate in fiction– Long John Silver.  You’ve seen pirates with a peg leg and a parrot on their shoulder?  You’ve heard of treasure maps marked with an “x”?  You’ve heard of the black spot?  This is where it started.  You’ll love it. 

Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer
DO NOT READ this ridiculous, horrifying example of the most depressingly archaic (so old fashioned it is has no relevance to anything happening in the present day) view of men and women, manhood and womanhood, relationships, love.  EVERYTHING SUCKS ABOUT THESE BOOKS.  It is the worst kind of pandering to sentimentalism and vacuous romanticism.  Have you ever bought a delicious looking chocolate eclair with a vanilla creme filling?  You bite into it and it tastes delicious and rich and sweet but not only does the massive amount of processed, refined sugar start a cascade of hormonal reactions that leads to obesity and diabetes but also the filling has been sitting for days slowly growing bacteria resulting in the worst diarrhea you could possibly imagine.  DON’T EAT THE ECLAIR!  IT COULD KILL YOU AND RUIN YOUR FUTURE!  Go for the croissant instead (with that delicious buttery goodness).

The Vokosigan Series by Lois McMaster Bujold
This 16 book series begins with how the parents of the main character, Miles, meet, fall in love and have him with great difficulty, political (and military) conflict and drama.  Miles is the heir to a high ranking aristocratic family in a society that kills infants who are damaged in any way.  He is not but has to deal with growing up with physical handicaps on an extremely prejudiced planet.  He ends up becoming the admiral of a mercenary army at age 17 through a series of brazen, crazy, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants misadventures.  The characters are great.  There is humor, military adventure, political intrigue, romance, mystery thriller and space travel all mixed together.  These books will keep you on the edge of your seat to see how Miles (or one of the regular cast of characters) will get himself out of THIS situation, which he keeps putting himself in because he can’t help but try to solve problems that are really the business of the grown ups (or their governments!).  Handicaps and social prejudice are just painful unfairness to get through while you make a life for yourself that is worth living.  To hell with them. 

*The Wave by Morton Rhue (pen name for Todd Strasser)
There was a story, apparently apocryphal, that a teacher subtly established a kind of Nazi Germany type social experiment as a way of showing his students that it is easier than one would imagine.  This is a fictional story that follows this story line.  It is very powerful and can be eye opening for understanding what we humans are capable of.  This would make a good follow up to one of the genocide books in the nonfiction section.

*The Wednesday Wars by Gary D. Schmidt, 2007
This coming of age story about a seventh grader in 1967 is a well written book about the influence of a good teacher(“who hates me”), discovering a passion for literature (in this case, Shakespeare), taking risks for something that matters, benign but emotionally neglectful, unavailable parents, innocent love, overcoming prejudice, and other issues that confront a sensitive boy.  As Booklist says “a gentle, hopeful, moving story.”  I agree despite the main character being a little too nice and resilient.

*Whatever Happened to Lani Garver by Carol Plum-Ucci
Isolated coastal island, 15 year old cancer survivor, ingroups, outgroups, bullies, the emotional cruelty of teenagers to each other, the dangers of being perceived to be gay, the restrictiveness of pigeon holing people including with gender roles, street kid subculture, corrupt or complacent authorities, the beauty and price of being your own person, the cost of lying to yourself (and others), parents who run the gamut from benignly neglectful to criminally abusive (with no healthy parent to be found); sounds like another “the world is fucked up and kids know more than adults” formula.  (You know, where is the book about the parents these supposedly-wise-kids-who-find-their-happy-ending-despite-awful-parents become?)  And yet, this is an excellent book.  The characters are well developed and believable.  Plum-Ucci takes the time to flesh this story out and create a realistically complex tale without too neat and tidy an ending; though I am sensing a theme for YA authors to kill off characters.  I’m not sure what that may mean? And, THERAPISTS ARE PORTRAYED IN A POSITIVE, ACCURATE, AND HELPFUL WAY!  Anyway, this story takes the reader through Claire’s awakening to her complicity with the ostracizing of peers (because of her lack of social authority and her gratitude that at least it isn’t her) to finding her own voice.  In the mean time she befriends a wise, street smart effeminate boy, discovers the layers of false selves people employ, and the rage that can be unleashed in people with social power when their vulnerabilities are unwittingly revealed.  This is a great book for girls who are struggling with feeling like they have to try to fit in rather than following their own inner voice.  It may make a small contribution to helping them find their own path.  8/09

Whirligig by Paul Fleischman, 1998
Brent, a high school junior, kills a teenage girl when he was driving home drunk after a party.  (At the party, he had been humiliated by a popular girl and had decided to kill himself by crashing his car.  He lived.)  The mother of the girl asked that Brent take a month to build and set up whirligigs in the four corners of the continental United States.  He finds himself along the way.  This is a beautiful book.  It switches back and forth between Brent creating the whirligigs and the reactions that people have at different times when they run across them.  Small, encapsulated stories within the stories.  This is a very powerful book about redemption and the value of contributing something of beauty to the world.

*The Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula LeGuin
Ged is a naturally gifted magician in a land where magic influences events.  He is insecure and proud which leads him to open a rift through which evil enters his world.  This story is about how he comes to develop humility and to accept mistakes and the dark side present in each of us.  Le Guin is a brilliant story teller who weaves a mythic tale of an imaginary land.  Great book for people who need to learn to forgive themselves and to learn how to face their own demons.

Wringer by Jerry Spinelli
9 year old Palmer desperately wants to be accepted but it would mean becoming a wringer on his 10th birthday; a wringer as in wringing the necks of pigeons at the county fair.  Every boy does it.  But, what if you disagree?  Is it possible to keep something secret about yourself to avoid being rejected?  What is the price you pay (and is it worth it)?  This is a great story of pressure to be a guy, finding a way to stand up for yourself (and the real reasons it is so difficult) and the importance of being true to yourself.   

Memoirs, Biographies and Autobiographies

All That’s Bitter & Sweet by Ashley Judd
A famous actress becomes an ambassador for a charitable organization that addresses AIDS prevention in poor countries and begins to confront what it takes to be a more authentic person.  The stories of her experiences and the people she meets are horrifying and heart wrenching.  Her journey of self exploration of her own troubled childhood is raw and inspiring.  This memoir is powerful on so many levels: the desperate need that exists in the world, the despicable treatment of women and the poor, a healthy way to begin the journey of confronting hard truths of a troubled childhood and the depression that results, the importance of giving what you can to those in need and learning to establish boundaries (and accept your limitations).

Beat of a Different Drum:  The Untold Stories of African Americans Forging Their Own Paths in Work and Life by Dax-Devlon Ross
A 7^th grade English teacher recounts the stories of 30 different people who are pursuing lives and careers that fall outside those seemingly “set” for African American males.  A chef, a brewmeister, a holistic healer, circus ringmaster, an oceanographer, a real estate developer, editor; these are just a few of the different careers represented by the people included in this book. While it can be a long read if taken all at once, there is real value to pulling out sections for teenage guys who may not see how wide open their career options can be.

Beautiful Boy by David Sheff
The remarkable story of a father’s struggles dealing with his teenage son’s devastating addiction to methamphetamines and heroin.  All the more remarkable when paired with his son’s memoir of the same period in his life (see Tweak, above).  This book is agonizing; in other words, it is an accurate portrayal of what a parent goes through when their child has a serious alcohol or drug addiction.  (Note:  I say serious, not because addiction in any other form is not serious.  By it I mean that the level of degradation and devastation to which the addict subjects him/herself is particularly extreme.)  You are taken through the events, responses, and statistics (the writer is an award winning reported who originally wrote this as an extended article) of his and his ex-wife’s attempts to intervene in their son’s descent into addiction.  It is hopeful in that the book ends with his son in a period of sobriety.  It is helpful in that it speaks, achingly, to the inability to control events that have such a personal impact and ends with a really beautiful description of his coming to a sort of peace with his situation.  It is harrowing in that he has a reporter’s ability to capture the helplessness and the paralyzing fear, chaos, and sadness parents undergo who are faced with this situation. 2008

Boy Meets Depression by Kevin Breel
Breel is now (2016) a standup comic and motivational speaker in his early 20s.  This book recounts his struggles with depression, suicidal thoughts and unhappiness across his teen years-and how he struggled to get through it and not easily.  If you have been depressed, you will recognize yourself in these pages, and see that you can learn how to make it through.

Broken by William Cope Moyers
From the adolescent beginnings of alcohol abuse, the author ends up abusing crack cocaine in a cycle of binges that lay waste to his adult life.  As the son of a legendary journalist (Bill Moyers), his struggles to establish his own identity and the additional shame of a national audience for his falls.  This memoir follows someone into middle age whose addiction is an, at times, well-kept secret that is minimized by himself and those around him while it destroys several jobs, one marriage, and threatens another.  This gifted man with many advantages is nonetheless caught in the grips of an addiction that defeats a supportive and unfailingly supportive family as well as the best treatment money and influence can buy through late middle age.  It is depressing in that we are forced to witness the tenacity and persistence of addictions into middle age.  It is hopeful in that he makes his way to sustained recovery (though it ends with his being a VP of a major addiction treatment facility; not an outcome available to most).  Honest and gripping, very compelling reading.

Dead Reckoning by David Treadway, 1996
This nonfiction book is written by a prominent family therapist who is forced in his 50’s to explore the effects of his mother’s suicide at his age of 20.  It is an honest and touching account of his discovery of the emotional aftermath of this event (and the family function prior to this) and his struggles to put it in perspective (and to rest).  This is a powerful exploration of the legacy of parents and family trauma.  Issues of marriage, parenting, emotional openness, and manhood are prominent.    I found it a beautiful and thought-provoking book.  It also has some insights into the therapist as a person.

Dharma Punx by Noah Levine
Levine was an alcoholic, drug abusing street punk rocker without direction.  This memoir takes you through his teens and early twenties as he tries to find meaning, purpose and some joy in life.  He succeeds through Buddhism.  Hopeful story in a raw and real language (actually) street tough kids will get and street tough wannabes will have a model for not playing the game.

Father Figures:  Three Wise Men Who Changed a Life
The author lost his father at an early age yet had three adult men (male relatives, fathers of friends) who stepped into the void to help shepherd him through adolescence and into manhood.  Just because you don’t have father figure doesn’t mean you can’t reach out to men you admire.

First They Killed My Father by Loung Ung
This is a first person account of the Khmer Rouge genocide in Cambodia.  Quietly powerful story of surviving when freedoms are crushed and monster’s assume power.

Gifted Hands by Ben Carson
The author was raised in inner-city Detroit by a single mom with a 3rd grade education.  He had terrible grades and no direction.  He went on to become the director of pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Balitmore, MD.   This is his story.  What have you done lately to beat the odds against you and accomplish something important?  [Update: there are some parts of the difficulties Carson reports going through that have been brought into question.]

His Bright Light:  The Story of Nick Traina by Danielle Steel, 1998
This non-fiction book was VERY difficult to read.  Nick dies by his own hand (drug overdose).  It is the most vivid picture of the experience of raising a severely attention disordered, bi-polar child I have come across.  (It may be the only one.)  Here was a woman whose extraordinary resources were ultimately not enough to help keep her child alive.  What I treasured about this book was Ms. Steel’s ability to describe the differences between Nick’s mental illness and him as a person.  It is a testament to adaptability, patience, and perseverance.  Happily for Nick, from the beginning Ms. Steel did not follow recommendations or continue with therapists or approaches that did not make sense to her or were obviously hot helping.  The early chapters about Nick’s childhood were beautiful descriptions of what it is like trying to raise a hyperactive child.  Happily, most children do not have such extreme mental health challenges (and do not end up dead).  One difficulty I have with the book is that few parents could sustain the loving, understanding, even-temperedness, and financial investment  that Ms. Steel describes.  The most typical response as a parent to how difficult Nick was would be to want to kill him yourself.  I have usually been conflicted about recommending this book because of the devastating outcome.   I had trouble putting it down.  2000

Hole in My Life by Jack Gantos
Memoir of this successful teen author’s time spent in prison for drug running.  Cautionary tale (and a story of recovery and redemption).

Hope Rising by Kim Meeder, 2003
The author runs a youth ranch for troubled kids.  These are some of their stories.  They are beautiful, sweet and powerful tales of kids beginning to find themselves, a purpose and healing from difficult family circumstances. 

I am Malala by Malala Yousafzai, 2016
When Malala was 15 years old, she was shot by Taliban terrorists because she has been writing a blog (since the age of 12) on the living conditions in her native Pakistan, in part because she was advocating for educating women.  She then became an internationally recognized advocate for education, women’s rights and the horrors of terrorism.  How old are you?  What have you done lately for your community?

Jay’s Journal by Beatrice Sparks, 1979
This nonfiction book is taken from a journal written by a very bright 16 year old boy who begins by dabbling with drugs and ends up dead by suicide.  It chronicles his relationships, behavior ups and downs, parental manipulations, Satanic involvement, and, following the death of two of his friends, his suicide.  This book was very difficult for me to read.  The ways in which he was left drifting time after time was driving me crazy.  Ultimately, it was depression and a lack of attention to the signals that contributed to his successfully killing himself.  This is a good book for parents whose child has begun to use.  You can see how he cleans up, falls back in, and sucks his parents into buying into the story that everything is okay.

Liar’s Club by Mary Karr, 1995
This is a great memoir of growing up in east Texas red-neck country with parents who are a mess (an occasionally psychotic mother married six plus times, violent father), her childhood was chaotic (neglect and family secrets in every closet), violent (gun play seemed to break out frequently) and traumatic (she was raped at age 8) yet she made her way through.  It is wickedly funny too.  This is very difficult reading though.  It can help you if you have a dangerous and dysfunctional family; it might scar you if you have a more protected childhood (which I hope you are lucky enough to have).  This is definitely a book that can help you see that people can come out the other side of craziness and make a life for themselves.  This book is credited with re-defining what a memoir should be.  She is now a very famous writer for this and other works. 

Longway Gone by Ishmael Beah, 2007
YA with reservations: A powerful story of how the author at age 12 fled attacking rebels and wandered until recruited by the govt army who then learned how to forgive himself, regain his humanity and, finally, heal.  (PG-13.  The content is very intense though it is by no means glorified or exaggerated.  Gives the feel without being gratuitous.)  A really good book for perspective on how difficult life can be and how to overcome devastatingly difficulties.

Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity by Kerry Cohen
This is a powerful book.  This is a difficult book to consider having teen girls read.  It is an important cautionary tale.  I don’t think I would recommend it to just any girl.  This would be for someone who is starting down the path this woman traveled in looking for fulfillment and love through sex (and the growing realization of how empty it was).  It took her to her late 20’s.  And, that doesn’t seem exceptional to come to that awareness.  The writing is powerful and it captures the sensual pull of sexual tension that sparks between two people, the passion in the initial sex and the emptiness that follows (along with her throwing away good and potentially fulfilling relationships as she is driven to keep searching for something ultimately impractical-complete fulfillment (sexual, intellectual, emotional, professional) in one, “perfect” relationship.  She will be required to find a way to define herself in her own terms rather than within a relationship.  While it has a clear sexual addiction implication, it is not about treatment for sexual addiction, growth comes from an increasing self awareness and, frankly, maturity in what long-term, committed relationships have to offer (and what they don’t).

My Losing Season by Pat Conroy
Pat Conroy is a riveting writer who delves deep into complex (and physically and emotionally dysfunctional) relationships.  He is the author of some great guy books about the cost and damage hypermasculinity wreaks on boys and men.  This is a memoir of his time at The Citadel (a storied South Carolina military academy) playing on their basketball team.  It is about friendships, harsh (and abusive) men, losing and growing up.

The Pact:  Three Young Men Make A promise and Fulfill a Dream by Sampson Davis, George Jenkins, Rameck Hunt & Lisa Frazier Page
This is a beautiful book about three African American guys who became friends as teens and were able to overcome the many obstacles encountered as young, lower income, black teens and young adults resulting in each becoming professionals (doctors and dentists).  Inspiring and uplifting. 

Season of Life:  A Football Star, A Boy, and A Journey to Manhood
Reporter Jeffrey Marx describes the effect Baltimore Colts co-team captain John Erhmann had on his life as a team ball boy when young prompting him to seek out Erhmann to discover he is an inner city minister and inspirational football coach.  Excellent model of masculine virtues as including compassion, encouragement, affection and honor (as well as competitiveness).

Smashed by Koren Zailckas.
I went looking for a book by a woman recounting her struggles with alcohol.  There are a slew of books on drug addiction, too many of which have an almost glamorized quality (i.e., heroin chic?).  I stumbled across this is a wonderful independent book store in Asheville, NC (Malaprops).  Anyway, the author writes of her love affair with drinking.  She is unapologetic about its appeal to her, insightful about why drinking has been so important to her, wry in her humor, sarcastic in her disdain for “feminist theories” of female drinking, and brutally honest in her assessment of the necessity of sobriety for her (and her longing to be able to continue to drink despite the clarity of its costs).  She is also one of those quiet young women so the story also isn’t a riotous, life of the party type girl story.  Remarkably (and unhelpfully) this was not a tale of the damage done through assaults and liberties taken with a drunken girl/woman.  The imagery evoked by the author is comparable to the best fiction writers though it doesn’t quite reach that level as a whole.  But Zailckas reports that this day to day, week to week drunken stint from adolescence through her early 20s was NOT alcoholism.  She just ABUSED alcohol.  Riiiiiight.  Nevertheless, it is a useful cautionary tale for girls.  It is a potential catalyst for discussion about attitudes toward drinking, “girl drinking”, and the ways in which wobbling through adolescence and college in a haze of substance abuse puts you further and further behind on the road to growing up.

Son of a Gun by Justin St. Germain
The author’s mom was shot to death by her husband when the author was 20 years old. This was the last of a string of abusive husbands and boyfriends she brought into both their lives. The life he was leading was all screwed up with self-doubt, failed relationships, alcoholism and no sense of direction. Then he tried to understand what made his mother choose bad men. And he found a way to begin to put together a life worth living. This is a beautifully written book. Pay attention to what it takes to get your life on track when the only models you have are neglect, violence and craziness. It takes work but you can do it! (since the alternative is loneliness and self-contempt covered in substance abuse.)

Stop Pretending:  What Happened When My Big Sister Went Crazy by Sonya Sones
This nonfiction book of successive poems reads like a diary.  It is written from the perspective of the 12 year old sister of a teenage girl who becomes wildly manic and goes through a series of hospitalizations.  This book is BEAUTIFUL and powerful in an understated, elegant way.  It really captures the confusion, the emotional turmoil, and adjustments that families have to make.  It also highlights how siblings are affected and the ways they can be inadvertently overlooked in the chaos.  By the end of the book, she begins to “find” the sister she knew before her illness unfolded.  This is an excellent book for parents and their children to read together.  2000

Tweak by Nik Sheff
This memoir is an unflinching account of a bright, intellectually gifted teens descent into devastating methamphetamine and heroin addiction.  If you have read (or seen the excellent movie adaptation of) The Basketball Diaries, this book is a contemporary version.  Nick, the main character begins the story from the time of his second relapse at age 19.  The time line moves back and forth from descriptions of his early childhood, history of gradual evolution into drug addiction, the horrifyingly humiliating and degrading and shameful things he has done (stealing from his beloved, child-aged younger siblings and his family, prostituting himself, betraying everyone who cares about him, etc.).  It provides hints and suggestions about the life experiences that may have contributed to his addiction.  He, characteristically for serious addicts, relapses multiple times after intensive, state-of-the-art residential drug treatment (by family with financial resources).  It is very hard to read.  For parents who have just discovered their children’s A&D use, it is a precautionary tale.  For parents with kids who are traveling down this road, it is a hopeful tale (with some realistic expectations thrown in about the cycles of recovery and abstinence, like periods of two years of sobriety followed by an even deeper dive back into addiction).  The book ends hopefully, but realistically as it covers his life from 18ish to 23.  Who can tell whether he will relapse again.  2008

We Are Witness by Jacob Boas
Alright, this author has gathered five diaries of teenagers who died in the holocaust.  How would you handle it?  See the way teenagers can show character, compassion, courage and faith to keep their humanity when everyone around them was losing theirs. 

We’re Not Leaving by Benjamin J. Luft
What makes a hero?  911 first responders tell you their stories.  What would you do to help others in need?

We Wish To Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families by Philip Gourevitch
The state radio began encouraging the Tootsis minority to engage in the genocide of the Hutu majority in Rwanda by systematically justifying it and establishing the timeline.  And then the killing began.  It was horrific.  This book was written by a journalist who combined a dispassionate review of the social and historical factors contributing to this shameful event along with the first person accounts that bring the tragedy home.  It is an excellent, heartbreaking book.  It is really astonishing how Rwanda has begun to make its way out of this monstrous event.

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
In the same year this critically acclaimed novelist lost both her husband and her daughter.  She brings her talents to bear on the process of grief.  Powerful, beautiful, painful but ultimately not despairing.  People who are suffering a loss will find a companion in their grief.

Allegories, Fables and Fairytales

The Ultimate Gift by Jim Stovall
When his rich grandfather dies, Jason shows up to collect on his inheritance.  The problem is that his grandfather has set a series of tasks for him to complete before he can cash in.  This is a beautiful way to address the important qualities of a life worth living in story form.  It is an easy read with great depth.  A must for your teen, particularly boys.

The Tale of Three Trees by Angela Elwell Hunt (with illustrations by Tim Jonke)
Wonderful fable of the desires of 3 trees for riches, adventure and fame.  They each achieved their life’s wish but in ways they did not anticipate.  (Spoiler alert)  They became the manger that held baby Jesus, the boat in which Jesus calmed the seas and the cross upon which he was crucified.  Beautiful way to hint at how God’s purpose (or, for heathens, the narrow view of what constitutes real accomplishment) can result in a profound contribution in the humblest, honorable life.

The Missing Piece by Shel Silverstein
The happy little circle goes looking for it’s missing piece in order to feel complete.  When it finds it, it discovers that being complete has its drawbacks.  Wonderful message in a simple, beautiful little allegory.

The Alchemist by Paul Coehlo
This allegory has moved a lot of people.  The poor shepherd boy has the courage to strike out on a quest in search of treasure.  Many obstacles must be overcome.  And, along the way, his experiences lead to a gradual, profound change in his view of what really matters.

Ishmael by Daniel Quinn
A man answers an advertisement for a teacher looking for a serious student.  What he finds is a psychic gorilla who is wise beyond imagining.  So begins a dialog about the role of humans on earth (and the problem with their arrogance).  Are you a Taker or a Leaver?  If you pay attention, this book will definitely get you thinking.

A Strong Man by Carol Lynn Pearson and Kathleen Peterson
A strong man gives his feet, his back, his arms, his brain but it is in giving his heart that he truly becomes a man.  This is a glorious fable about manhood for modern times. 

The Knight in Rusty Armor by Robert Fisher
A knight is noble and saves the damsel but it turns out that his “crusades” keeps him from the ones he loves and who love him and his armor keeps him from being able be tender.  What will it take for him to be able to get the armor off and have real relationships?  A story for almost all teenage boys and men. 

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness

Thirteen year old Connor’s mother is dying, his father has a new family, his grandmother is always mad at him, he is being bullied at school and he is having a terrifying recurring nightmare.  Then, a monster shows up, and changes everything. This is a beautiful story of bravery and cowardice, discovering that good people can also be bad and facing the truth can be set you free.

Religion and Spirituality

Between the Dreaming and the Coming True by Robert Benson
I love this book.  Benson has a quiet, genuine and real voice as he talks about the difficulties of understanding human suffering and God’s plan.  He has provided one of the most convincing explanations for why God would have us suffer I have come across.  And he has done it in a way that feels like you just sitting around sharing ideas.  This is one of the books I give to people who have questions about God’s plan and, most importantly, who have suffered loss or trauma.

The Echo Within by Robert Benson
OK, so I have this thing for how Benson views the place of God in our lives.  This one is a gentle discussion about how you discover what God’s purpose is for you.  It is how to hear the voice of God in your life.  Not preachy, not self-righteous, there isn’t any “Praise JESUS”; the message has relevance even if you are a nonbeliever.  It is about listening to your heart (and how to hear what it has to tell you).  Gentle and beautiful.

Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller
Miller has written a wonderful book about the struggles he went through with being an evangelical Christian and truly trying to live the example of Christ.  Lots of self-realizations and self-evaluations that reveal the hypocrisy, naivete and self-righteousness of adolescent Christians with a way to make your way through.  Conversational tone, funny and uplifting.  He is a wonderful exemplar of an admirable young man trying to find his way, who is a Christian.  Christian teens will find it compelling.  Non-Christian teens (or teens who have fallen away) will see a Christian worthy of admiration (rather than scorn).

Do Hard Things
These teenage twins have written a book about getting out and making a difference in the world, from a Christian background.  It is well written and readable and not preachy.  This can get you thinking.

Life of the Mind (Thinking, Philosophy, Making Changes)

The Emperor’s Handbook:  A New Translation of the Meditations by Marcus Aurelius by David and C. Scott Hicks
One of the classics of western philosophical thought.  Aurelius was emperor of Rome (one of the 5”good” emperors).  In his last years, while he was on campaign to stamp out the threat to the empire from invading Gaul, he kept this personal journal of his thoughts about the important things in life.  (No mention is made of the events that were transpiring around him while writing these essays.)  It is an ideal exposition on the tenets of stoic philosophy.  Stoicism hold a reverence for the cosmic order, a devotion to duty to the state, acceptance of “fate” (in the form of bad stuff happens and you should accept it with grace and equanimity) and the existence of free will.  As with all great philosophical writings, has the power to encourage deep thinking and transformation.  There are several translations, this is a good, modern one.

The Lessons of History by Will and Ariel Durant.
Brilliant.  The single best summary of what the scope of human history has to teach us.  Will, and later with his wife Ariel, completed an 11 volume set (1200 pages plus each) that traces the history of western civilization.  This small (– pages) book distills what their review of human civilization has to teach us.  They write like poets, think like philosophers, and have an unashamed love of humanity despite having surveyed the scope of human brutality among our transcendent accomplishments.

The Sunflower by Simon Wiesenthal
As a prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp, the author is called to the bedside of a dying SS soldier who, horrified by the things he has done, asks for forgiveness.  This book was Wiesenthal’s presentation of the context the preceded and followed this instance while leaving the reader with the question “What would you do?”.  It is a horrifying story, beautifully written.  Lots of detail is provided about his concentration camp experience and the reality of the German occupation of Poland.  What was striking to me was that I was more intellectually horrified rather than emotionally moved.  I’m not sure why but I think it was the dispassionate way that the heinous crimes and sadistic brutality of the Nazis was presented rather matter of fact; reflecting, it would seem, how common place these observations and the associated thoughts about the constant presence of humiliation and death were to the prisoners.  I found this a problem.  As for using this as a book for considering the concept of forgiveness with teens; I think it is too complex and enmeshed with the issues of Nazi atrocities.  I would probably pull out just the chapters in which the soldier relates his horrific deeds and set the stage for the exercise in ethics there.  Otherwise, it ends up being a larger question of human cruelty, compliance and obedience, and the influence of social demands on impacting behavior rather than a more focused consideration of responsibility, guilt, forgiveness and redemption.  It is also a bit advanced for most teens; not stratospheric but a stretch.  With all that said, still an excellent, appropriately disturbing book.

Notes to Myself by Hugh Prather
This is a remarkable little book.  The author has collected thoughts from his diary across a year or so.  They are brief observations about self-acceptance and personal insecurities and being real.  It is quiet, it is peaceful, it is thought provoking.  I read it first when I was like 20 or so.  It was powerful then.  It is powerful to me now in my 50s.  This one is worth a look.

Be The Change by Zach Hunter
Okay, so this high school kid decides that there are these kids who are being enslaved and he is going to start a charity to raise awareness.  And, he does it.  A very inspiring story (written by the kid) about how it is possible to make things happen when you care enough and really put your heart, mind, and back into it.  It kind of flips the argument that “but I’m just a kid” on it’s head.

On Truth by Harry G. Frankfurt
OK, this is a little (literally, it is 3″x5″) book by a Princeton University professor of philosophy.  It is dense, comprehensive and will both clarify your views on truth and truthfulness as well as improve the quality of your thinking just by reading it.  Go on!  Take the risk to see if you can keep up with a Princeton professor.  And you thought just telling the truth was difficult!  Try actually understanding the concept.  (He also wrote a book in similar style called Bullshit.)

Choosing Civility: The 25 Riles of Considerate Conduct by P. M. Forni
Now here is a Johns Hopkins professor of Italian literature and civility.  It is kind of like having a conversation with a very kindly butler whose is patiently talking about old world values that would be important to keep in this modern world.  The rules are things like listen, acknowledge others, be inclusive, speak kindly, be agreeable, think twice before asking for favors, refrain from idle complaints.  It isn’t a long book.  You need to know about these foundations of civilized behavior.  You may even decide to improve your civility quotient.

Nobility of the Spirit:  A Forgotten Ideal by Rob Riemen
If you are tired of wallowing around in the muck and mud of sensualism and self centeredness, get this book.  There are noble values to live by, there is a greater purpose to devote yourself to.  Be brave.  Be true.  You can do it.

The Consolations of Philosophy by Alain de Botton
This is an awesome book that looks at major life difficulties and which philosopher has the most useful things to say about making it through.  Unpopularity, Not having enough money, Frustration, Inadequacy, A Broken Heart and Difficulties are all covered.  Every day language and the author talks about how the life of the philosopher may have influenced his (yes, they are all male philosophers) philosophical solutions to life’s difficulties. 

The Last Lecture by Randy Rausch
A computer science professor gave a talk about achieving your childhood dream in a talk series that was called last lecture (as if it was the last lecture you would give).  Thing was, he was middle aged with young children and was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  Here’s the talk he gave.  It is brilliant and potentially life changing.

Make Good Art by Neil Gaiman
This is another of college commencement addresses.  There is wisdom in the best of these, they are brief and will leave you thoughtful about important things to consider, directions to go in your life or how to find happiness. “Leave the world more interesting for your being there.”

This Is Water by David Foster Wallace
Another in the series of college commencement addresses on this list.  Wallace killed himself within a couple of years after this address; the tragic death of a young and brilliant author who was a troubled and troublesome person.  This talk is powerful “The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline and effort and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over in myriad petty little unsexy ways everyday.” 

Congratulations, By The Way by George Saunders
Another commencement address on this list.  Saunders was a geophysical engineer in his first career.  He is another of the MacArthur Genius award winners.  “What I regret most in life are failures of kindness.”

What Should I Do With My Life by Po Bronson
This is a wonderful book of the stories of people who have overcome fear, failure, difficulties, trauma and just confusion to find what was really worth doing with their life.  Who know?  You might get some ideas (and at least some inspiration to strike out on your own path)

Academics

Pocket Guide to Study Tips: How To Study Effectively and Get Better Grades. (Third Edition).  Armstrong, W. & Lampe, M. W. II.
A VERY concentrated, comprehensive guide to study skills. Dry like a reference book but with something on every aspect of studying. Inexpensive and worth having on hand.

African American Issues

The Envy of the World by Ellis Cose
Really like how the author talks about the challenges of being a black man in America but with a recognition about the possibilities and opportunities along with the racism and unfairness.  He also has a great final chapter on 12 things needed to survive and thrive in America as a black man. 

Letters to Young Black Men by Daniel Whyte, III
A very inspiring, real and practical book for helping African American guys both face and not be embittered by the continuing effects of race relations in America. There are lots of resources for using this book in many different situations and contexts (study guides, Sunday schools, youth groups, etc.) to be found on this website dedicated to the issues raised in the book.  There is also Mo’ Letters to Young Black Men if you got something from this

(See also Gifted Hands, Letters to a Young Black Man, The Pact, The Beat of a Different Drum above in the Autobiography section)

ADD/ADHD

Making the Grade:  An Adolescent’s Struggle with ADD.  Parker, R. N.  (1992).  .

Adolescents and ADD:  Gaining the Advantage.  Quinn, P. O.  (1995).
This is an information book for adolescents that is a little bit dated and not flashy.  It is well organized, has a good section on medications, information about how to keep organized, and includes real kids talking about their ADHD.  This would be for a more studious or intellectual child with ADHD.

Get off My Brain:  A Survival Guide for Lazy Students by Randal McCutcheon.
Great little book written for kids (not ADD kids, just kids) about how to do some easy organizing and reordering of parts of your life and efforts that will improve school success, including how to get your teacher to like you without having to actually be the goody-goody student.  Relevance to ADD/ADHD kids should be obvious.

Survival Guide for College Students with ADD or LD.  Nadeau, K.  (1994).
This is an information book that is brief and well written.  It is mostly a resource book that is designed for kids who already know they have ADHD and what it is.  It helps organize the different aspects of picking a college and identify the resources that are available when you attend (or how to access them).  Covers many topics like study tips, etc.  (More like a review than detailed steps on how to accomplish these.  Another source will be necessary to develop or refine these issues.)  Good resource to have handy.

Learning Outside the Lines: Two Ivy League Students with Learning Disabilities and ADHD Give You the Tools for Academic Success and Educational Revolution by Jonathan Mooney and Davie Cole.
This is a book written by 2 guys who suffered the frustrations and academic failures common with unrecognized ADD/ADHD/LD.  They give your kid a view of how you can still pull things together and even make it to highly competitive colleges.  Mostly for inspiration.  General study strategies and suggestions for organizing your life provide a good overview.  Specific strategies would be better found in how to study guides.

ADD and the College Student: A Guide for High School and College Students with Attention Deficit Disorders. Quinn, P. O. (1994).
This is an information book that describes the diagnosis, gives a questionnaire to see if they may have ADHD, treatment, legal requirements of colleges for kids with ADHD, etc. Despite it’s title, it seems more relevant for older adolescents (college bound high school juniors and seniors). Good information though not particularly compelling reading.

ADD-friendly Ways to Organize Your Life by Judith Kohlberg and Kathleen Nadeau.
This is THE book for organizational strategies.  It is written by a professional organizer and an ADD therapist.  Comprehensive, thorough, readable and designed for the reader to just pick out sections of interest.  Great book.

Anger & Anger Management

I’m Not Bad I’m Just Mad: A Workbook to Help Kids Control Their Anger by Lawrence Shapiro, Zach Pelta-heller & Anna Greenwald
This is a really good interactive (workbook exercises) book.  It is probably more for self-motivated middle to upper adolescent age in the level of writing but it also has really cool exercises and covers a comprehensive range of issues including understanding your anger, managing your anger and dealing with people who leave you feeling angry.

Take the Grrrr Out of Anger by ElizabethVerdick and Margerie Lisovskis
This one is good for elementary age kids. 

Hot Stuff to Help Kids Chill Out by Jerry Wilde
I really liked this book the best for kids to read themselves.  It is a bit simplistic but probably necessarily so.  Not too wordy, not to dumbed down.  This is worth getting for a kid who is wanting to do something themselves about their anger.

Antiracism and Allyship

Anxiety, Fears and Phobias

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J Bourne
The Anxiety and Worry Workbook by David A Clark and Aaron T Beck

The Anxiety Workbook for Teens: Activities To Help You Deal With Anxiety and Worry by Lisa M Schab
Very useful for kids; lots of good suggestions.  Probably better for older children and teens 14 and under.  Older teens will find this more child oriented. 

My Anxious Mind: A Teen’s Guide to Managing Anxiety and Panic by Michael A Tompkins,  Katherine A Martinez & Michael Sloan
This book is thorough, doesn’t talk down to you but also makes sure the concepts and suggestions are understandable.  Again, older teens might find this talking beneath them at times.  It is also lots of describing (and thus, lots of reading) rather than more dynamic graphics, exercises, etc. 

Playing With Anxiety: Casey’s Guide for Teens and Kids by Reid Wilson and Lynn Lyons
Great information. Hearing Casey talk about what all she goes through is a great way to find out about anxiety and what you can do about it.

What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety by Dawn Huebner & Bonnie Matthews
Lots of engaging illustrations.  Excellent for 6-12 year olds.

 
BIPOC

Bipolar Disorder

Welcome to the Jungle: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Bipolar But Were Too Freaked Out To Ask by Hilary Smith.

This is a GREAT book.  The author has bipolar and this book covers everything you need to know in a conversational (and sometimes profane) way.  It is really balanced about the good and the bad and really honest about it all (and well informed).  This is one of the books to get if you are bipolar, especially if you have just found out.

The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide: What You and Your Family Need to Know by David J. Miklowitz, Ph.D. (The Guilford Press, 2002).
Here’s a book that will take you through the things you will be dealing with yourself (or what a family member is going through).  

Bipolar Disorder in Family Members
My Mother’s Bipolar, So What Am I? by Angela Grett
This a great validating book when you have been raised by a mom with bipolar disorder.  The author wrote this as an adult about her growing up experiences (as well as those of others with mom’s with bipolar disorder).  If your kid has a poorly medically managed mom, it may be worth reading some of the sections together.  I think the language is a bit above any except older adolescents (not profane, just more sophisticated).

Friends and Family Bipolar Guide by D. Meehl and M. Meehl
You will get some good ideas about how to deal with the challenges of having a family member with bipolar disorder. One thing I like about this book is that the authors identify specific issues and challenges so that you can recognize or anticipate them.  And, they give specific suggestions about what to do, how to say things, how to know when you need to step back.

I’m Not Alone: A Teen’s Guide To Living With A Parent Who Has A Mental Illness by Michelle Sherman & DeAnne Sherman

This book is in a workbook like format (with questions for you to answer).  It is for teens who’s parents have major depression, schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.  There are chapters on each, discussions about alcohol and drug use by mentally ill parents, discussions about how it affects you, how to help yourself, when to get help and how to help your parent.  This is an excellent book to establish a foundation for you as you struggle through the effects of your parent’s mental illness

Bullying and Harassment

Mean Girls:  101½ Creative Strategies and Activities for Working with Relational Aggression by Kaye Randall and Allyson Bowen
This is a workbook will take you step by step through ways to deal with the kind of bullying girls go through.

Letters to a Bullied Girl by Olivia Gardner
The author was bullied and taunted for years during high school.  Two teenage sisters organized a letter writing campaign to provide support.  This book has letters of all kinds from kids, parents, friends and relatives of the bullied.  It also has letters from bullies.  If you are getting a raw deal (or worse) from your peers, get this book and let it lift you up.
College:  Choosing, Applying, Alternatives

Choices for the High School Graduate: A Survival Guide for the Information Age by Bryna Fireside
There are more options for you than just going right to college (though everyone knows that a college degree provides (statistically) greater income potential and gives you credibility).  But, all the academic requirements of college isn’t for everyone.  Here is a book that helps you explore other options while taking seriously the need for you to develop some real lifetime employment potential.    And it has an simple self-test to see what you may be suited for.
Communication

Small Talk Savvy by Wadsworth.
This handy little book has lots to say about how to make small talk. It can be useful for kids if they are shy/anxious and it can be useful for parents if they are trying to have better communication with their teen.
Creativity

 

Dating and Relationships (See also Sexual abuse, Molestation and Date Rape section below)

The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating by Annie Fox
This is a really good book about relationships.  It is readable (like having a conversation) and it also isn’t all about sex and sexual decision making.  It is actually about relationships (including with your brothers or sisters).  This is a way for you to think through things you may not have faced but need to consider before you find yourself in the situation.

Understanding Guys: A Guide for Teenage Girls by Michael Gurian.
This is an excellent book on the differences between boys and girls to help girls understand why boys act so stupid. It is very well written. It is not a complete resource. It deals almost exclusively with the psychological and social ways of boys. It has suggestions for how girls can engage boys in conversation, understand their reactions, etc. The best book for understanding boys from a teens perspective I have read. (It would be an interesting book for boys to understand more about themselves.) You will want to examine the section on sexuality before you turn it over to your daughter. He promotes abstinence through discussion alternative means of being sexual.

Boundaries in Dating by Henry Cloud & John Townsend.
Deeply Christian-based book on dating (really for young adults but still relevant for mid to older teens).  Explicitly advocates saving sex for marriage as what God wants for us.  Lots of good info about establishing your expectations and setting boundaries (hence the name?), and identifying important qualities in a potential dating partner.  Probably will need to be a joint effort of you and your kid reading and discussing.

May I Kiss You?  A Candid Look at Dating, Communication, Respect & Sexual Assault Awareness by Michael J. Domitrz
So this guy’s sister was sexually assaulted as a teen and it led to his dedicating himself to addressing how teens should approach intimacy in relationships (from both sides of a relationship).  At times it is a little bit corny (but not overly so).  Most importantly, it really will get you thinking about the decisions you make, where you head is at when you are with someone, whether you actually pay attention to the other person and, most importantly, that you should have PERMISSION to kiss someone or otherwise be physically intimate.  You should read through this just to get that side of dating relationships (and even hook ups). 

Dating! 10 Helpful Tips for a Successful Relationship by Laura Buddenberg and Alesia K Montgomery
This book has some really good information about things to think about when you are beginning to date (and right before you begin to date).  It is written for probably 8-9th grade teens.  Really worth a read to establish a good foundation of what you need to be thinking about when it comes to being in a dating relationship

Update:  A Guide to Successful Dating (766 Great Date Ideas) by Dee W. Hadley
Just what it says, 766 ideas for spending time together.  Some of them are REALLY stupid, a lot of them are things you might not have thought of.  Never hurts to have ideas about things to do on a date that DON”T cost money. 

Guide to Great Dates by Paul Joannides & Toni Johnson
Another book that has some great suggestions for dates.  Written for adults (as evidenced by the Making Your Own Martinis and Winetasting) but it has some good ideas. 

Play or Be Played: What Every Female Should Know About Men, Dating, and Relationships by Tariq “K-Flex” Nasheed
OK, this book is written partially to be funny.  But, unfortunately, it also speaks some truths about how some boys and some men approach relating to women; and how they disrespect and even mistreat them.  It is somewhat sarcastic and cynical about people using each other rather than being in a relationship but it asks some important and hard questions about what girls and women are going to put up with (or are willing put up with, to their own detriment).  Read with your tongue in cheek (don’t take it too seriously) but also to think about the compromises you may be making to be in a relationship. 

Depression

Kid Meets Depression: or Life Sucks Then You Live by Kevin Breel
The author struggled with depression throughout his adolescence (he is now in his early 20s).  This is his story of the hiding, shame and suicidal thinking he endured and is a resource for taking care of yourself in your own struggles with depression. 

Kid Power Tactics for Dealing with Depression by N. Dubuque & Susan Dubuque. (Also includes A Parents Survival Guide to Childhood Depression.)
This unique set of books was written by an 11-year-old child who suffers from depression and his mother. In plain language, these books one addressed to children and the other to parents and professionals, provide a wealth of information to help make sense of the comples problems childhood depression and find ways of coping. Ages 8+

When nothing matters anymore:  A survival guide for depressed teens.  (B. Cobain, 1998)    www.freespirit.com
This is a more general book about depression that includes suicidal feelings written by Kurt Cobain’s cousin.  Solid book, accurate information but a bit too bookish for most teens.  Maybe for younger teens.

The Depression Cure: The 6 Step Program to Beat Depression Without Drugs.  (S. Ilardi, 2010)
This is a really good review of what I tend to call the “natural” antidepressants.  Doing the things the author suggests are really important.  And.  It is important to be careful about ignoring the importance of antidepressants as part of your treatment.  If these steps don’t start helping with your depression, if you continue to have major symptoms, if you are feeling suicidal, get to a therapist (and then, probably, get to a medical professional) to help keep an eye on you, help you figure out what else you may need to do and, probably, see if antidepressants will help.

Depressed Parents

 I”m Not Alone: A Teen’s Guide to Living With A Parent Who Has a Mental Illness (M. D. Sherman & D. M. Sherman)
This book has a lot of helpful info on mental illness, how it affects you when your parent is mentally ill and how to make your way through the complications (and pain) that comes from having a parent who isn’t there (and, sometimes, because they ARE there while under the influence of the illness).

Divorce & Separation

For Teens

The Divorce Helpbook for Teens by Cynthia MacGregor
This book gives information about the effects of divorce, the changes that occur and advice about things you can do to make it through.

Split in Two: Keeping It together When Your Parents Live Apart by Karen Buscemi
Brief and well written book about the things that help make traveling between your two parents houses go more smoothly. 

How to Survive Your Parents’ Divorce by Nancy O’Keefe Bolick
This book gives you information about what you will go through when your parent’s divorce through the stories of kids in their words.  The information is provided to you through stories. 

When Your Parents Split Up: How To Keep Yourself Together by Alys Swan-Jackson
This is the book to get to know what you are going to face and get some ideas about what you can do to cope.  It covers everything, doesn’t waste words and includes comments from kids to give ideas about how the different issues can affect you. 

Finding Your Place: A Teen Guide to Life in a Blended Family by Julie Leibowitz
This is one in a series.  It is kind of cheesy and overly simplistic.  I didn’t find it very helpful. 

Surviving Divorce: Teens Talk About What Hurts and What Helps by Trudi Strain Trueit
This is also a good book.  It has gathered a lot of information about divorce and how to cope presented in a magazine-like format; which I think makes more interesting and easier to understand. 

How It Feels When Parents Divorce by Jill Krementz
You can get a really good idea about the good and the bad of divorce all in the words of kids.  This book doesn’t really give you lots of advice, it just helps you see that you are not alone (and know some of the things you will be facing). 

Stepliving For Teens: Getting Along With Stepparents, Parents and Siblings by Joel Block and Susan Bartell
Easy to read book that covers the range of issues with step families.  There is lots of good information here to help you get ready to deal with becoming part of a blended family. 

For Young Adults

The Way They Were:  Dealing with Your Parents Divorce After A Lifetime of Marriage by Brooke Lea Foster
Here’s a book for young adult and adult kids whose parents are getting a divorce. 

 

Driving

Teenage Road Hogs by Michael Schein.
This is an interesting little book that is written for teens about many issues related to the mechanics and challenges of driving. It is good enough for most teens, provides a nice jumping off point for discussions, and has a really nice section on talking your parents into getting you a vehicle.

Entrepreneurialism

The Teenage Investor by Timothy Olsen.
If your kid is interested in the stock market (or you want your kid to know about the stock market and long term investing) this is the book.  It is excellent!

The New Totally Awesome Business Book for Kids by Arthur Bochner and Rose Bochner.
This book is for young teens with ideas on traditional businesses they can start (e.g., lawn mowing, baby sitting, etc.) but with lots of information on the business aspect of things and more unconventional suggestions for making money.  Good book for younger teens.

Bitten By the Business Bug by Jason O’Neil
Jason started developing businesses when he was a child (e.g., lemonade stands, recycling service) and eventually hit on a quirky idea that took off.  He has written a book about being a childhood entrepreneur.  As you might expect, it is written in the style of (and for) kids.  It is also a good book for younger business minded teens.  More informal and conversational than the Bochner book above. 

The Young Entrepreneur’s Guide to Starting and Running a Business  by Steve Mariotti
This is the book.  It is about kids who are serious about getting a business started. 

Failure

Rejection by John White
Here is collection of failures and rejections by some of the most famous, brilliant and successful people in the history of the world.  If they could pick themselves up and continue on . . .

Pushcart’s Complete Rotten Reviews & Rejections edited by Bill Henderson and Andre Bernard
Writers have been getting bad reviews for what have subsequently been hailed as brilliant works since 411BCE.  This might help when your English teacher thinks you suck (though you are still going to have to figure out a way to get at least a passing grade). 

Overcoming LIfe’s Disappointments:  Learning from Moses How to Cope with Frustration by Harold S. Kushner
Rabbi Kushner is famous for his book When Bad Things Happen To Good People.  Remember Moses?  You know, Old Testament, prophet, leader, defeater of the mightiest Pharaoh Ramses?   Well, he failed a lot.  If life is kicking you in the . . . gut and you are ready to lose faith in yourself and the future, try this book.  It probably isn’t as bad as some of the things that Moses had to go through. 

The Road to Success is Paved with Failure:  Hundreds of Famous People Who Triumphed over Inauspicious Beginnings, Crushing Rejections, Humiliating Defeats, and Other Speed Bumps Along the Way by Joey Green.
One page summaries of the failures and tragedies of people you know who, despite that, made something of themselves.  Inspirational. 

Perseverence by Margaret J. Wheatley
Drawing on her experience as an organizational consultant and leadership trainer, the author has written a book that contains brief comments on a wide range of topics that relate to living a contented life: Dwelling in uncertainty, Finding our place, Fearlessness, Eagerness, Righteous Anger, Choosing, Discipline, Giving up, Control, Uncertainty.  Thought provoking, even if you don’t always agree with her.  Lots of quotes from Buddhist spiritual leaders which will give you a sense of the tone of the book.  Worth a look if you are feeling lost or pessimistic.

Friendships, Peers, Popularity and Cliques

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning

OK, here is some really good fiction on what it is like being a gay teenager.  I put it here rather than in the fiction section so you could find them easier.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/07/19/13-great-books-for-gay-te_n_649606.html#s114142&title=The_Arizona_Kid

Giftedness

Girl Issues

Unmasking Sexual Con Games: A Teen’s Guide to Avoiding Emotional Grooming and Dating Violence by K. M. McGee and L. J. Buddenberg.
There are ways in which a select number of guys (actually in both hetero and gay relationships) will try to talk you, pressure you or manipulate you into doing things you are not actually ready for or comfortable doing with THEM.  These few guys can be surprisingly effective because they have a natural talent for playing psychological mind games.  You should be primed to recognize it when it happens.  This book is a great little review of how they try to get away with what they try to do. 

Respect: A Girl’s Guide to Getting Respect & Dealing When Your Line is Crossed by Courtney Macavinta and Andrea Vander Pluym
This is the BEST book on all the important things you face making your way in the world as a girl.  It presents ideas for the supporting positive things and also addresses the negative things.  Great advice, great at getting you to think and make some decisions for yourself about how you want to approach situations, great strategies.  Get this book, it will help.   

Girltalk by Carol Weston
A comprehensive book on adolescent girl issues written by a long-time teen advice columnist.  Chapters include Body, Friendship, Love, Sex, Family, Education, Money, Smoking/Drinking/Drugs.  Good book for your daughter. 

Gutsy Girls by Tina Schwager and Michele Schuerger
25 gutsy girls are doing gutsy things (mountain climbing, surfing, circus performer, skydiver, fossil hunter, drag racer).  Then, a section on how to be gutsy.  Opens up the range of possible futures for you to consider. 

Girl Power by Patty Ellis
This is a book for middle school age girls (and a bit dated with reference to Billy Crystal movies and Grease).  I think it is a good overview of teen dating issues. 

Let’s Hear It for the Girls: 375 Great Books for Readers from 2-14 by E Bauermeister & H. Smith.
List of books with strong girl characters. 

Great Books for Girls: The 600 Books to Inspire Today’s Girls and Tomorrow’s Women by K. Odean
Another anthology of books from picture books through adolescence listed by different reading level and issues addressed.

Real Girl Real World: A Guide to Finding Your True Self by Heather Gray & Samantha Phillips
Beauty, media, body image, healthy lifestyle, anatomy, safe sex; this book covers the gamut.  A good way to think about the person you want to be (rather than just being pushed around by other’s expectations).

Cool Women:  The Thinking Girl’s Guide to the Hippest Women in History edited by Pam Nelson
Stories of 50 Incredible women.  What’s not to like.  See what’s possible.

And also look in Sex and Sexuality under Girl Stuff

Grief, Loss and Death

How it feels with a parent dies by J. Krementz.
Essays by children from ages 7-16 describing the effects of their parents death and how they got through it.  Excellent, private support for a kid who faces this long road.

When a friend dies:  A book for teens about grieving and healing by M. Gootman
A small, simply written (and so isn’t overwhelming to a non-reading kid) that covers all the aspects of loss of a friend.  Beautiful little book that can begin the process of understanding.

Fire in my heart, Ice in my veins by S.Traisman.
A workbook for children and teens going through grief with questions and opportunities for kids to go through some of the things they struggle with in dealing with loss.  It is a good resource but really is designed to take a kid or young teen through their feelings; not exactly something to just give to them unless they are a journaling-kind of kid.

The grieving teen:  A guide for teenagers and their friends by H. Fitzgerald
Well written book that covers from learning of the loss through discovering how to continue on with a “What you can do” response to each issue.  Comprehensive and relevant but may be too much information presented at once for teens who are not much for reading.  Excellent book.

The power to prevent suicide: A guide for teens helping teens by R. E. Nelson & J. C. Galas
This is a great book for teens who are the confidant of someone depressed or in trouble.  It requires some reading though it is (well) written for teens.  Excellent suggestions that cover the range of issues from understanding depression, what to do if you know your friend is depressed or suicidal and, most importantly, how to take care of yourself.

Healing Conversations: What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say by Nance Guilmarti
This can help you figure out how to say the right kind of thing during difficult situations when you fear you will say it wrong.

Guy Issues

And also look under Sex and Sexuality under Guy Stuff

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